Long story short; about 2 months ago my ex and I separated after what ended up being a four year long unhealthy relationship. We were high school sweethearts and ended up changing through the years and growing apart. This winter break I found myself escaping reality basically, and creating my own reality by constantly interacting with friends, working very little, and avoiding family. I was basically couch surfing with no need to do that... I made many mistakes, but also gained a lot of great memories with friends. However, I completely shoved my family aside and behaved in selfish ways... I realize now I need healing. I want to share with my audience how I felt because I know that anyone that has experienced the end of a serious relationship, which is many of us, will understand the thoughts and feelings that come from trying to cope. Our relationship had been rocky for sometime, so two months ago I accepted the idea that we would no longer be together and therefore tried to cope by keeping myself busy. That sense of false happiness you seek to hold on to, trying to convince yourself you are fine, when truly you are not is the feeling I want to portray with this series.
I will visit places I visited during this winter break, at the same times that I encountered them the first time, and try to recreate how I was feeling at the time by creating images with the appropriate mood and tone. I will photograph what I saw in a way that depicts how I felt when being there. This series will evolve with time, it will be a narrative essentially; beginning with images that will serve as a type of prequel to where I am now, and working towards images of the honest effort I will make to repair my relationships and my health.
I am interested in art therapy. Art Therapy and my undeniable need for therapy influenced this concept. I am also a night owl and love night photography; at least half of these photographs will be shot at night to represent the correct time I encountered these places. In this series night plays an important role; most of the entertainment we took part in was at night. I will explore the night scene in Austin further, but only in places that I went to in the last two months. I will also interact with friends and family in the same way as before and photograph them, then I will work on improving my relationship with my parents and document that in such a way that the mood of the image demonstrates a personal improvement.
I will be photographing digitally and printing on Epson Premium Photo Luster Paper as of now, but the paper type may change if a different paper works better with the concept. I will print the images no smaller than 13” x 19”. The images will all be in color; rich saturated color and high contrast images is what I will capture. I want the first few images to have a gloomy feel to them and the series will gradually lighten up in mood as I too improve with the series.
Images such as those from Joakim Eskildsen, Feng Bin, Peter Gasser, Henrik Knudsen, William Eggleston, Stephen Shore, and Alec Soth have inspired this series’ concept a bit, but mostly their style is what has influenced me. I want to capture images with saturated bright colors like those seen in William Eggleston, Joakim Eskildsen, and Henrik Knudsen. The content of these images will resemble that of Stephen Shore, Henrik Knudsen, and Joakim Eskildsen. These images will be colorful and will naturally have people in them because I will be shooting public places and home interiors. I will aim for a level of contrast like that seen in Peter Gasser and Feng Bing’s work. Although, their work is in black and white and I will be working in color, I aim to obtain the same level of clarity and contrast that they did with their work.
